Hmmm

I Spend much of my time thinking about everything, like life and my family. I think of my family as my brothers, mom and Julie and one of my really good friends.

I love these people most of the time and they love me in return. Its the best feeling to be loved by someone who isn't actually family like my good friends.

Lately I haven't felt so loved, I have felt pretty rejected and unwanted by most. I seem to extremely stressed and high anxiety about new things that happen in my life and the stress of trying to be a good mom and a good friend. I know can never be the daughter my mother always hoped for.

Great freinds and New crushes

Well hmmm let me think. I think I like this guy and he is kinda interesting to talk to and we just talk about random things that come to mind and I think that is awesome because most of the time I can be a pretty random person.

So I think I might have a new crush which is kinda good because for a long time I only liked one of my really good friends but I have no chance with him and I probably wont have a chance with this guy either but I'll have to see where this ends....

Summertime is great but I have yet to go camping so hopefully before the summer is over I will get to go with some great friend of mine and it will be totally epic ahahahaha

Life without pain

I try to live without pain now because there has been so much in the past. Now I live a life where in numb and I don't really love anyone but a select few....

It just seems easier not to care and expect things from people, if you don't expect anything you cant be disappointed. Only one person so far has been able to make me feel something again. I'm somewhat happy about that but that one person could crush me in a moment if they wanted to.

So still a life where your numb still seems the best way to go. Only love who really matters and stop being nice to the ones who don't