A Better Life

Somehow my life has gotten better in a weeks time and I seem to be happier, still depressed but happy never the less. I am enjoying what has been happening and it might not kill me to be nicer to everyone now. This means that because life is somehow getting better for me then maybe it will get better for my friends and family too, I sit here thinking how quickly everything can change for just one person in the simplest way.

I look at my life and realize that not everything is just crap anymore and I'm not just doomed to fail at life like I have thought for the past few years. My life isn't just one big epic failure after another, there is hope still that I can get my life together.

I could be once again the girl with the smile on her face and happiness in her life. Or it could just all go horribly wrong but I try to be optimistic about it.

3 Years Later

It has now been 3 years since my daughter was born and I am so happy that she is in my life. So many things have changed in the 3 years, like where I live now and how I am with my family. I have moved 4 times since she was born and so far Ohio isn't half bad because I have met people that I can actually stand and enjoy talking to and being around. :)

I'm kinda picky when it comes to people and wanting to be friends with them. Also I am a lot nicer being here, I'm enjoying the person that I am becoming. The person the I was when I was younger back when I was nice and sweet to people instead of just wanting to hurt them as much as they hurt me. I used to be so manipulative and conniving, I still am that person sometimes even though now I am working really hard not to be.

With my family now I seem to act nicer even though I need to work on it still. I have a hard time dealing with them and they have the worst time dealing and living with me. I know that I can be a pain in the ass, still sometimes its just the mood I am and they have now learned not to take it personally.

This has been an interesting 3 years and I hope that it just gets better because I have hit my all time low, my rock bottom so I must be able to just go up from that..

Cheats and Lairs

In this world there are some many cheats and liars that get away with so much... I am so tired of people hurting one another to get what they need, what happened to people being honest and kind?!?!

Life had seem to make a turn around for my family but nooo a thief had to steal what was rightly my mom's and it would have made our lives easier. I have always seen my family struggle financially and it hasn't been fun to watch between all the fighting and anger..

I just don't understand why people need to steal from others and why someone can follow someones last wishes when they die, it is so wrong and heartless to do something like that. But anyways there isn't anything I can do myself but hope that someday karma will hit them in the face for all the bad they have done in this world.

SOOOOO PISSED AT THE HUMAN RACE!!!!!

Cazy Life

No matter what I seem to do my life seems to be crazy. Its either the people in it that make it crazy or the things that just seem to happen with me.

My life just changes everyday even if it is just is small ways, I am not the person I was 5 years ago or even a year ago when I look back on it. But it is the crazy people that have helped mold me into the person I am today...
Not all these people are in my life anymore but not because they have died or anything but because they chose not to be. I have done many things in my life that I am not proud of and I use to be a very evil person..

For the most part I am a good person who just wants a life someday of normalcy not that I want it anytime soon but someday it would be nice to have a home and be able to cook, clean and be a great mom and I know that takes time and I am going to wait as long as I have to till I have it. Just someday I would like that life and I would love to truly love someone and have them love me in return...